[livejournal.com profile] libraryofwinds Challenge: Crack

Nov. 21st, 2006 03:00 pm
killingsoftly: (Free crack?)
[personal profile] killingsoftly
He'd tried so hard to be good, for so many months now. It hadn't been easy, wasn't easy still. Too long with things in his system, and even Warren's warmth couldn't take away the chills sometimes. He'd hid the worst of it, and there had been distractions. Helping Warren. Loving Warren. Living with Warren. Touring with Warren. Enough good things that he hadn't felt the aching emotional need. High on love was enough, most days.

Most days.

Other days there was agitation he tried to disguise as hyperactivity. He couldn't sleep some nights, and others he tried to hide how sick he felt. He had the crowds now, and they fed his basic needs, which helped. Warren there battled the depression, but he had to cling to him, sometimes inexplicably it would seem, hold on to the one thing that kept the box tucked away. The anger that Warren had lashed out at him last time was enough to keep him straight, most days.

But there were days when he wanted. Days he missed the high. Missed how easy that sweet smoke could make everything. The agitated light that rested usually in Byron's eyes did not help. Knowing it was right there did not help. Temptation beckoned more than he'd let anyone know, but day by day it got a little easier, and he hoped that one day he'd be strong enough to throw the box away for good.

Date: 2006-11-21 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
Awwwwwwww! Warren isn't sure if he should respond to this or not, even tangentially? But he's so, so touched.

Date: 2006-11-21 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
He can if he wants to. :)

Date: 2006-11-21 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
One day off before the next concert the next night, he was washing his hair in the shower. Came out, towel around his waist, to find Devin trying very hard not to look at the box. He thought he knew what that meant.

Only, he wasn't sure what that meant. Knew what the look was but not how it felt. How often it happened or, well, it couldn't happen too often, could it? Or he'd notice more. But he didn't know what it felt like, to have that kind of sensation and then to force yourself to leave it behind. He knew the biologicals of chemical addiction, but he didn't know what it did to you.

He looked at him for a second, then went over and put his arms around his lover, damp and shivering a little and wet hair dripping down around his face and pressed a kiss to his temple. "'m proud of you," he murmured, and hoped it helped.

Date: 2006-11-21 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin wasn't aware he'd given himself away, and gave Warren a slightly bemused smile as he leaned into him and found him solid as always.

"Thank you?"

Date: 2006-11-21 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
He slid his fingers through Devin's hair, wondering if he'd misunderstood. Closing his eyes after a second, deciding that just holding him was good enough.

"We're making it. We're doing this, and we're making it. 's..." He couldn't think of a word for a second. "Amazing."

Date: 2006-11-21 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin curled into him a little, holding on tight. It wasn't really a good day for the physical cravings.

"It is amazing. You're amazing."

Date: 2006-11-21 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"So're you..." He was dripping all over him, and for some reason this made him smile. Damp fingers down the back of his neck, stroking a line down his spine. "And I love you very, very much."

Date: 2006-11-21 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin shivered a bit at the dripping, but stayed snuggled close, a smile on his lips.

"I love you, too. More than I can think to say, sometimes."

Date: 2006-11-21 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"I don't know, you do pretty well," he smiled, kissed the top of his head.

"I should stop dripping on you, shouldn't I."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin shook his head a little and held him tighter.

"I don't mind."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
He reached over and fumbled for something that wasn't a towel to wrap around them both. There, one of those bathrobes. That'd do. He pulled it around both their shoulders a little awkwardly, snuggling him tight.

"This would be so much easier if I could do more than light things on fire. I mean, I could start burning their towels to keep us warm, but that'd smell."

What the hell, LJ? *smack*

Date: 2006-11-21 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin looked a little surprised. "I'm sorry...I should let you get dressed..."

He thought he was the only one cold.

Date: 2006-11-21 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"Eh, don't worry about it," he said, rubbing his arms lightly. "You're shivering..."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin leaned back into him. "It feels cold."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"Let's get under the blankets, then." But he wrapped him up in the bathrobe before he scooped him into his arms.

And he was so going to lose that towel on the way to the bed. Ohwell.

Date: 2006-11-21 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin still chuckled at being scooped up like that, and it made a smile come to his lips, arms winding around Warren's neck.

"Blankets are good..."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"Mm-hmm," he replied cheerfully, carrying him to the bed and setting him down on it.

And, yes, he did lose the towel. "Damn you, towel," he mock-glared at it over his shoulder. "Yeah, you lie there, I'll deal with you later."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin went so far as to giggle, then smirk at the view.

"The towel was just ceding to my wicked scheme..."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"Oh, it's your fault, then." He grinned, sliding under the covers and tucking them both in, then pulling him back into his arms. "I'll have to think of something appropriate to punish you with, then."

Date: 2006-11-21 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin attempted to look scared, but just ended up snuggled.

Date: 2006-11-21 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
Warren snuggled back with a small, happy little smile. Kissed his temple, rubbing his shoulders a little.

"Getting warmer?"

Date: 2006-11-22 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
"You're here," Devin said simply, by way of answer.

Date: 2006-11-22 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
He snuggled a little closer. "Always will be."

Date: 2006-11-22 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin smiled, hugging him tight. "Thank you."

Date: 2006-11-22 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"Thank you." Warren smiled.

Date: 2006-11-22 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin giggled at that, pressing a kiss to Warren's shoulder, letting his nearness ease the ache inside.

Date: 2006-11-22 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
Warren grinned. Kissed his forehead, his cheek, making his way to his mouth and just one soft kiss there, forehead resting against his.

Date: 2006-11-22 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
A soft sigh escaped, as Devin leaned in and kissed him back gently.

"I need you, so...."

Date: 2006-11-22 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
It always worried him, just a little, when he said it out of the blue like that.

"I'm right here." He hugged him a little tighter. "Not going anywhere."

Date: 2006-11-22 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
He managed a smile, curling into him, fingers stroking through his wet hair.

"Good."

Date: 2006-11-22 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
He closed his eyes and let his head rest against Devin's, feeling him in his arms, his fingers through his hair. Probably around the red streak again, he thought with a smile. Which it was getting time to re-dye.

These little moments. The domesticity of it. The simplicity, peace and contentment. It amazed him every time.

Date: 2006-11-22 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin was focusing very hard on focusing on Warren. It was dual focusing and it made his head spin a little, but if Warren was there, then the box wasn't so tempting and he was able to relax a little, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and flashing him a half-wicked smile.

"You're naked."

Date: 2006-11-25 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
"Whaddaya know..." Warren looked down at himself, between them, looked back up at him and grinned. "I guess I am."

Stole a kiss off Devin's cheek, fingers trailing through his hair. There were warm little surges of love and adoration every time Devin gave him a look, a glance, a tilt of the head, something. And it was almost enough to stave off the undercurrent of worry.

Date: 2006-11-26 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin smiled, shifting a bit to kiss him, deep and true, fingers threading through his hair as he held on to him tightly.

Date: 2006-11-29 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
His arms held onto him, tight and cradling him around his waist, one hand pressed to his back. He kissed him back softly, as deep as Devin pressed it but not pushing past that.

More important to him, now, to convey that he was just there. That he would be there, always.

Date: 2006-11-29 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killingsoftly.livejournal.com
Devin curled into him with a soft sigh, brushing his hair back from his forehead as he kissed him deeper.

Date: 2006-11-29 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firebugwarren.livejournal.com
He smiled a little against Devin's mouth at that, chuckled softly, fingertips tracing up and down his spine as he held him and kissed him back.

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