killingsoftly: (Lover)
The first couple of days had been like in a dream of pure joy. He still had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't actually dreaming, that it all was real. That more than just the fact that Warren was with him, that Warren loved him. That he ... even in his head he stumbled over the word, but he managed it...loved Warren.

There was fear there, too. Always fear, of what he could do. Of what he'd done before. That Warren would wake up one day and realize just who and what he was in bed with. That Warren didn't know the worst of it. The lives he'd taken knowingly. Purposefully.

That the full knowledge of him would burst the bubble of happiness they were floating in.

He pulled on his leather pants and shrugged into his silk shirt. Earring in, just one, shirt half unbuttoned. He added a touch of eyeliner, something to draw eyes to his. Nothing too elaborate. Nothing like what he'd paraded around in the years of Glam. But a touch. He was tousling his hair, adding in gel when his cell rang.

He glanced at the number and sighed. He almost didn't answer, but he finally did. He wondered how she'd known he was in town.


"Devin, darling," her voice was always so chipper and yet refined. "You naughty boy, you didn't call and tell me you were in town."

Read more... )
killingsoftly: (He is pleased)

Results )
killingsoftly: (Against all odds -- Warren)
Devin was nervous, unaccountably so, given everything. But a whole week in New York and the promise of what was to come made him shiver. He'd booked three gigs, calling on contacts and cajoling them into letting him play. Devin had done well enough for them in the past that they were happy to take the DJs off a night or two and slide him in, plastering up fliers and sending out emails.

He got the van loaded with the equipment and his bags, checked out of the hotel, then headed to Warren's to pick him up. He was bouncing a little as he got to the apartment, looking over the neighborhood and thinking that it would be home for a while when they got back. Home with Warren.

Devin felt as giddy as a schoolboy at the thought and couldn't help it if he was a little flushed when he knocked on the door.
killingsoftly: (LOL)

I escaped from the Dungeon of Killingsoftly!

I killed Third Arcana the floating eye, Wishingwillow the goblin, Antsolutely the kobold and Firebugwarren the leprechaun.

I looted the Crown of Queenthrutales, the Shield of Incubus, a Figurine of Lady Arcane, the Amulet of Kmfdm and 82 gold pieces.

Score: 232

Explore the Dungeon of Killingsoftly and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...

killingsoftly: (Promising Warren)
What I've managed to come up with so far...

In concert )
killingsoftly: (licking lips)
1. Had sex? Yes.
2. Had oral sex? Yes.
3. Used more than 3 positions in one session? Yes
4. Devoted a whole day to sex? Yes
5. Written an erotic story? Yes
6. Fallen or lost balance during sex? ...No.
7. Brought partner to climax using only hands? Yes.
8. Brought partner to climax using only mouth? Yes.
9. Had sex while totally dressed? Yes.
10. Had sex while standing up? Yes.
11. Used whipped cream/soft chocolate erotically? Yes.
12. Used ice erotically? Yes.
13. Had sex with someone 10 years older/younger than you? Yes.
14. Had sex with a teacher? Not one of my school teachers.
15. Had sex with someone you never spoke to/spoke different languages? Yes
16. Had a menage-a-trois? Yes
17. Had sex in a public place? Yes
18. If so, where? Park. London Underground. Club. Theater.
19. Had sex outdoors in broad daylight? Yes.
20. Had sex on the roof of a building? Yes
21. Are you a member of the mile high club? Yes.
22. Had sex outdoors at night? Yes.
23. Had sex in a dark theatre? Yes.
24. Had sex in the water? Yes.
25. Had sex in a store dressing room? No.
26. Showered with a partner? Yes.
27. Stripped for someone? Yes.
28. Played strip poker (or a similar game involving nudity)? Yes.
29. Role-played a sexual situation? Yes.
30. Used a blindfold during sex? Yes.
31. Used handcuffs during sex? Yes.
32. Used sex dice? *g* Yes.
killingsoftly: (Intense)
He wasn't accustomed to having coffee later with people he'd so thoroughly seduced, but then, she'd been nice to him before that and after that and didn't seem to be running away, ans she'd offered to let him talk and he'd already apparently told her about Warren, so that made her slightly safer to talk to than the redhead who he barely knew.

He called her and invited her for coffee. He arrived at Starbucks a little early, parking the bike, then fidgeting outside on the step while he waited for her. He lit up one of his clove cigarettes, moving away from the door to the ashtray a bit further down. People might have given him disapproving looks on his own account, but at least no one coughed pointedly at him.

He was still fidgety, but at least the nicotine helped a bit. And there would be coffee. Which might make him fidget more. But it would be good and she was a calming sort and he might not end up talking about Warren at all, really, even as VERY confusing as things were now.

He leaned against the wall and tried to make himself stop fidgeting, which got him looks from the Barbie clones who walked by, flashing him an inviting smile. Bike. Leather jacket. Sunglasses. Cigarette. Too pretty for words. It was what he used to get such creatures in his bed to give him what he needed, but he was too fixated on Warren to do more than just smile back at them with a nod.

Some things were instinctual.
killingsoftly: (I will only complicate you)
He was worried. He was also rather convinced that he wasn't wanted and probably should fuck off and let the boy come to him when and if he was ready. But the worry outweighed the guilt that he'd done something...that what they'd...the worry outweighed the guilt that this was his fault and made him grab the bike and head out on the hunt for Warren.

He wasn't at home, and his mom looked equally worried.

He wasn't at the Paper Lantern, which worried him more. It wasn't late enough for the clubs to be open, yet and he had no idea where else he might be.

He really needed to get a cell phone.

Not that Devin had the slightest idea what he'd say if he called him. He didn't have the slightest idea what he'd say when he found him.

He went to the park to look, figuring not many people knew about it and it might be somewhere Warren would go to be alone. If he wasn't there, it would at least give Devin time to regroup, to figure out what to say, and then he'd start hitting the clubs.

From Fred

Jun. 19th, 2006 10:04 pm
killingsoftly: (LOL)
You Are In a Crunch Ice Cream

The perfect combo: a completely nuts person who likes to be touched
killingsoftly: (hopeful)
They'd given them a park facing room, which was more than Devin had hoped for. He brushed his fingers over the cool glass of the doors, then stepped outside on the balcony, letting the sounds of the city wash over him. He took a sip of whiskey, smiling to himself as he watched the warm early evening light warm the buildings and the tops of the trees. It was warm and the air conditioner in the room kicked on in protest of the open door, but he just let it run, listening to the sounds of Warren in the room behind him.

Even now, the heat from their little game still lingered, flushing his cheeks. The whiskey in the glass was cool, but not cool enough. He was cursing himself that they only had one bed, but when he'd booked the gig, and the room, he hadn't expected Warren to be coming. He figured he'd be pursuing his other gig while here, but then the invitation spilled out and here they were. He wasn't coming down off a high. He'd slept a lot the last few days. He'd been eating. He wasn't fragile and out of it, and sharing that bed was likely to test his resolve to the limit, especially after the teasing.

He wasn't likely to sleep much.

But he didn't want to push Warren. The flirtation was delightful. The game moreso, but he was the one who wanted it to be more than just a game, not Warren. He had to remember that part and not push, no matter if that "later" teased at his memory. He slid fingers over glass and imagined briefly it was skin, then pushed those thoughts away. He could behave.

"Our reservation's at six." He called back over his shoulder, straightening even as he kept his gaze fixed on the people scurrying below, drinking in the life of the City. "We should probably leave by 530. It's just around the corner, less than half a mile. Walk or cab?"
killingsoftly: (Wilde Child)
From AIM Chat:

Waren: *curious* Why would you go down on a guy?

Devin: *puzzled* Why would you go down on a girl?

Warren: *sputtery, blushy, and speechless*

Devin: I don't see the difference?

Warren: Taste?

Devin: *still confused* Yes, they taste different, so?

Warren: *also confused* So... It doesn't... *trying to find words* What turns you on about guys?

Journal continuation

Devin frowned thoughtfully, trying to think that through, to understand the thrust, no pun intended, of the question. "I'm attracted to beauty. To passion. To fire..." That got a slightly amused, if somewhat wry, smile. "I'm drawn to a person. Or at least that was how it started. I wanted to be around him, to bask in his creativity, his glow. And then when he touched me..." He shrugged a bit. "I felt. Things I didn't know it was possible to feel with a man."

He glanced at Warren, studying him. "I had always found men beautiful. The human body, both male and female, is an amazing thing. The inherent grace. The things it can do. But I didn't know what it would be like, and I was scared." He smiled, remembering. "But I liked it. A lot. I still do. I like the differences. Women are softness and curves, even in this day of sculpted muscles. Men all planes and angles. The things you can do with them are different. And I like the things I can do with men. I like the pleasure I can give and I like the pleasure I receive. To your original question...blow jobs are amazing to receive, and to give someone that sort of pleasure gives me pleasure. That pleasure is associated with the act now, and makes it something I want to do."
killingsoftly: (Too Much Love will Kill You)
He was sick after, shaking. There hadn't been much in his stomach and in the end it was just dry heaving, retching again and again. Sickened that the Sorcerer had done such a thing. More sickened that he'd let him, that he'd fallen into it, knowing it for the lie it was but so desperate for anything that he'd taken it. Cried when words he wanted to hear from Warren's lips fell from those lovely lying ones.

Not him, and yet every curve of muscle, every inflection of voice was him and he'd wanted...wanted so badly.

He shivered on the bathroom floor, curled up. Not numb anymore, but overheated, seeking the cool tile. He didn't know how long it was before he could drag himself to the shower, but when he could, he stood under the hot water trying to scrub every touch of him off of his skin, but he was too deep for that, imprinted with the sure knowledge that Devin was somewhere in him there and he could never fully escape what it was that he was. His hands beat the walls until they were bruised, the knuckles bleeding, and he fell to the floor of the shower, sobbing. Dry, wracking sobs that threatened to tear him apart and he would have screamed if he thought he'd ever stop. He bit his knuckles instead, stuffing his fist in his mouth to muffle the sobs.

He stayed there until the water turned to ice and then he stayed there longer until he felt numbed again. He dried off almost methodically. He found sweatpants, tugging them on, but didn't even look for a shirt. His hands fumbled with the pill bottle, then tossed it aside. Alert wasn't what he wanted and he needed it faster than whiskey. He went for the box, searching through, hands shaking until he found the powder in the bottom of the box. He almost couldn't heat the water, he was shaking so bad, but he got it dissolved, and pulled into the needle. He found a vein easily, biting his lip at the pinch and then it was in.

It was warmer again, then, a rush washing over him. He made it back to the living room, eyeing the balcony, but collapsed on the couch, welcoming the distance, the clouding, sinking into it, not noticing that he was still crying a little.
killingsoftly: (doubtful and untrusting)
He wouldn't cry. It was a useless endeavor. Nothing had changed, not really. Warren loved the girl whether he was with her or not. He'd done his best to convince the boy he wasn't a danger to everyone who loved him, and if the parallels cut a little too tightly he wouldn't let it show. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Something.

He wouldn't cry. He'd shed tears over her. Shed tears over her as well. And over him, they'd already fallen, more than he would let anyone know, though Fergus had held him through some of them. He could say they were for something else. Say they were from frustration. Exhaustion. Wanting to go. Needing to go. Needing to stay.

He wouldn't cry. He didn't have it in him. This cold emptiness didn't lend itself to tears. He wanted to be warm again, but he couldn't reach into the warmth, fall into it. Into him. The whiskey just made it worse. Sent him spiraling down until he was as afraid as they had been that the balcony would be too tempting. He didn't need that. He couldn't do that to him.

He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't spend his time drunk. He had other options. Make the pain go away. Make him warm. There were pretty girls. Pretty boys. Two at a time. Three. Brief respite from the cold. And when that wore off, and the loneliness crashed over him again, there was his box.

He wouldn't cry. He needed him to be strong. To be there for him, and he'd never done that for anyone. He felt himself crumbling, unsure what was needed. The white powder hit his system hard and fast. Things weren't so cold and he could focus and he felt the troubles ease off just enough to let him be what he needed to be.

He wouldn't cry. He'd fly instead and try and hold off the crash for as long as possible.
killingsoftly: (wistful)
In a field by a river
my love and I did lie
And on my naked shoulder
she too proud to cry
She said that I must leave her
an icy tear she froze
How could I melt the heart
Of a Wild Irish Rose

Well a gypsy she has made of me
A servent of the street
And back to bed I've travelled
To taste a love as sweet
Well the heart it knows no reasons
And reason never knows
As I lie with them I'm thinking
Of a Wild Irish Rose

Well I saw the city of angels
It brought a devil out in me
And Hell's hotel on Sunset
Showed a whore no mercy
As the orange sky was screaming
From the roof I let her go
These are the dizzying heights that brought me
My Wild Irish Rose

Now red is the rose
That she layed on my grave
A life is what she wanted
And a life I surely gave
Like a hundred men before me
They lay lying here in rows
Young men, bloody
As a Wild Irish Rose

Save Me

Jun. 7th, 2006 09:24 pm
killingsoftly: (falling in darkness)
Tonight - take all of this, get drunk
Tonight - I wish, you will, I aim, you'll kill
Tonight - you cut the heart of hurt
Tonight - inside, denied, I'll wash in you

Never hear me
Never see me
Never near me
Never feel me
Never touch me
Never heal me
Never hurt me
Never save me

Tonight - you hurt, you'll heal how does it feel?
I hear the words that stay unsaid

Never hear me
Never see me
Never near me
Never feel me
Never touch me
Never heal me
Never hurt me
Never save me

Never hear me
Never see me
Never near me
Never feel me
Never touch me
Never heal me
Never hurt me
Never save me
killingsoftly: (In flames)
I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
I'm far away from home
And I've been facing this alone
For much too long
I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In my tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find
Where I went wrong

Too much love will kill you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster
'cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you
Every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go I'm bound to lose

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you
Every time

Too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...
In the end


Jun. 5th, 2006 11:01 pm
killingsoftly: (Goodbye)
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played to please the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing - Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne - she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah


You say I took the name in vain
Well, I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to ya?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter what you heard
The holy or the broken - Hallelujah

I did my best - that wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I learned to touch
I told the truth - I didn't come to fool ya
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of song
With nothing on my lips but Hallelujah



Well, maybe there's a God above
But all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew ya
And it's no complaint you hear tonight
It's not some pilgrim who's seen the light
It's a cold and broken Hallelujah



ooc note: Bono version (slightly dif. lyrics)

Color Quiz

Jun. 2nd, 2006 03:55 pm
killingsoftly: (double)
The Color Quiz

Whatever. )

OOC: Oh. Dear. God. This is such a creepy quiz...
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