Warren didn't see at first, his eyes closed as he leaned back against the bed and tried to quash the feel of bile in his mouth. "Oh god..." he murmured. "I am such a bastard..."
But then Devin was whimpering and he opened his eyes, looked over. Flinched, hard, at the sight of Devin all curled up and miserable and the guilt slammed into him twice as hard. Twice a bastard.
He wasn't sure about even touching Devin but something had to be done. And if he couldn't control himself enough to... Never mind. This wasn't about him. He repeated it firmly in his head. This wasn't about him.
"Devin..." he crawled over and pulled the other man into his arms, holding on as tight as he could. "Devin, I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's not at all your fault, it's mine. My stupid fault. I shouldn't have let this happen. It's not your fault." Words tripped out over themselves. "It's not your fault. You're wonderful, you're amazing. It's my fault, I'm a stupid, stupid bastard who doesn't deserve you. I'm sorry..."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-06-21 06:34 pm (UTC)But then Devin was whimpering and he opened his eyes, looked over. Flinched, hard, at the sight of Devin all curled up and miserable and the guilt slammed into him twice as hard. Twice a bastard.
He wasn't sure about even touching Devin but something had to be done. And if he couldn't control himself enough to... Never mind. This wasn't about him. He repeated it firmly in his head. This wasn't about him.
"Devin..." he crawled over and pulled the other man into his arms, holding on as tight as he could. "Devin, I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's not at all your fault, it's mine. My stupid fault. I shouldn't have let this happen. It's not your fault." Words tripped out over themselves. "It's not your fault. You're wonderful, you're amazing. It's my fault, I'm a stupid, stupid bastard who doesn't deserve you. I'm sorry..."