Coffee with Fred

[killingsoftly]

He wasn't accustomed to having coffee later with people he'd so thoroughly seduced, but then, she'd been nice to him before that and after that and didn't seem to be running away, ans she'd offered to let him talk and he'd already apparently told her about Warren, so that made her slightly safer to talk to than the redhead who he barely knew.

He called her and invited her for coffee. He arrived at Starbucks a little early, parking the bike, then fidgeting outside on the step while he waited for her. He lit up one of his clove cigarettes, moving away from the door to the ashtray a bit further down. People might have given him disapproving looks on his own account, but at least no one coughed pointedly at him.

He was still fidgety, but at least the nicotine helped a bit. And there would be coffee. Which might make him fidget more. But it would be good and she was a calming sort and he might not end up talking about Warren at all, really, even as VERY confusing as things were now.

He leaned against the wall and tried to make himself stop fidgeting, which got him looks from the Barbie clones who walked by, flashing him an inviting smile. Bike. Leather jacket. Sunglasses. Cigarette. Too pretty for words. It was what he used to get such creatures in his bed to give him what he needed, but he was too fixated on Warren to do more than just smile back at them with a nod.

Some things were instinctual.

Comments

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin frowned, fiddling with his coffee cup. "I've never...done this. Not since..." But it was there. On his journal. If she'd read.

"And yes, I've met her. I've seen them together. I've seen ... how much he loves her. And it's hard to think that now he...He still says he's straight. But when we kissed, he wanted me. But what if it's just...curiosity? What if in the end he decides this was fun, but he wants to be with a woman? I just...I don't know how to deal with that. I want him to be happy. I ... I tried to let him go. I didn't mean to kiss him, but he kissed me and then I just...wanted."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

Fred lifted one hand over the table, dropping it onto Devin's own hand, that was jumping around so. There was a flash of comprehension in her eyes.

"...I know."

She kept her hand there, waiting for his to still.

"You're not a curiosity Devin," Fred managed first, just watching him. "But being curious with you, it isn't a bad thing really. It means he wants to know more, about you, about himself. It makes you inspiring, it means he keeps wanting to learn. Remember what I said about one person not seeing the whole other person. Curiousty can keep that from happening. You're worried about things failing. But what's worse? Failing, or not trying at all?"

Fred would rather try, every single time.

"You tried to let him go, but if he doesn't leave, then that says something too." She shrugged. "I haven't met him, obviously, but it seems to me like you...know things Devin. You know people. Can you tell if it's just curiosty in that one way, all physical and...or is it deeper than that?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"I know he cares," Devin said, watching her hand. "I do know that's real. But the sexual side of it...that I don't know. He tells me it's more than that, but sometimes I worry it's just...me. What I do."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

Fred decided it might, just might be time to be blunt, and to call up her personal experience.

"I'm guessing you two haven't fallen into bed together yet?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shook his head, adamantly. "No. Just kissed."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

Fred nodded, listening, then she settled her eyes on Devin's.

"...then doesn't that make everyting between you the exact opposite of what you do?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin blinked. "But he wants to...Just because I said no doesn't change the fact that he might want to because of just...what I give off."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

Fred just shook her head, remembering a bit more of what he didn't, their conversationwhen he had be crashed on the couch.

"He wants to now maybe. Well, I'd guess definitely, after getting to know you, and you're sending it but...did he want to right away? From the minute you two spent any time together?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He frowned slightly, shaking his head. "No..."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

"Trust me then," she said with a good bit of personal conviction. "This is different."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Is it?" He looked the slightest bit hopeful.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

Fred nodded.

"I think so, at least. You've known each other for a good while now, right?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"A few months..."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

Fred's voice fell to something softer.

"Then it's not just what you do, Devin. It's who you are. And I mean that as two very different things."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He smiled, a little shy, a little uncertain.

"You think so?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

"As much as I ever think so," so said with determination, finally pulling her hand away. "And I do a lot of thinking."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes that can be dangerous," he said with a smile.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

"All my thinking?" She actually flushed a bit at that. "I know."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He watched her for a moment. "How are you?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

"I'm okay," she said honestly. "Doing better every day."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He nodded a little. "Things are...all right at home?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

"Things are...a learning process at home. I wanted to...tell I guess? Both of them? But I got educated by like, well everyone at once that I shouldn't. And that was hard at first. Still is, truthfully."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He nodded a little. "I didn't mean to make your life more difficult..."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fredless/]

"I make my life more difficult Devin, it isn't anything you need to take responsibility for, okay?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He nodded, but just a little.