New York (LoW prompt: Bubble)

[killingsoftly]

The first couple of days had been like in a dream of pure joy. He still had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't actually dreaming, that it all was real. That more than just the fact that Warren was with him, that Warren loved him. That he ... even in his head he stumbled over the word, but he managed it...loved Warren.

There was fear there, too. Always fear, of what he could do. Of what he'd done before. That Warren would wake up one day and realize just who and what he was in bed with. That Warren didn't know the worst of it. The lives he'd taken knowingly. Purposefully.

That the full knowledge of him would burst the bubble of happiness they were floating in.

He pulled on his leather pants and shrugged into his silk shirt. Earring in, just one, shirt half unbuttoned. He added a touch of eyeliner, something to draw eyes to his. Nothing too elaborate. Nothing like what he'd paraded around in the years of Glam. But a touch. He was tousling his hair, adding in gel when his cell rang.

He glanced at the number and sighed. He almost didn't answer, but he finally did. He wondered how she'd known he was in town.

"Brenda."

"Devin, darling," her voice was always so chipper and yet refined. "You naughty boy, you didn't call and tell me you were in town."

He continued to fuss with his hair. "No, I didn't."

"I thought that was our arrangement."

"It's not? I call when I need work, luv, but currently I'm doing just fine." He wasn't, really, but his investments would hold. He'd saved well. He could afford to not have to work for her for a while.

"Devin..." She sounded like she was chiding him. "Kathryn saw your poster. She'd like to see you after the show."

"Not possible." He slapped on the aftershave a little too vehemently.

"And why not?"

"I have plans." He swallowed, closing his eyes as he prepared to cut the ties. "Rather permanent ones."

There was a long pause on the other end. "You're quitting?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. I am."

"You can't do that. You're my most successful..."

"Everyone quits at some point, Brenda. You did."

"You're at your peak!"

"I'm done." For now.

"Devin...you've always said..."

"I know." He leaned against the counter.

"You're the best."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Yeah. I know." It was his particular gift. "I'm still done, at least for now, okay?"

Another long pause and then a sigh. "She must be something."

He smiled a little. "He is."

She chuckled at that. "Kathryn will still be there tonight."

"I'll deal with her."

"She's a very important client."

"I'll deal with her nicely."

"If you ever..."

"Yeah, I know. I'll call."

She sighed one more time and then he heard the click. He set the phone aside, closing his eyes again and rubbing his temples.

He'd need to book more gigs, for the energy and the money. Cut new CDs and push them. Maybe actually put up a website with ordering. Something to bring money in to keep them going. And he'd have to make these phone calls in most major cities in America.

It wasn't going to be easy, but he just...he didn't know what Warren would say. Didn't want to find out, if it disappointed him. Didn't...He wanted them to stay as happy as they were. Whatever it took. He'd just have to pull more from the audience. Take from them what he couldn't get elsewhere. He could make it work. He gave a resolute nod, and reached to work on messing his hair up just a bit more.

Comments

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Crap. "Dev..." Warren slid his arms around him.

"Dev, I'm sorry..."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin was tense, muscles trembling a little as he tried to hold himself together.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"We were having a good night..." he murmured, sliding his fingers through Devin's hair, kissing his temple. "And now I've gone and messed it up."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shook his head. "You didn't. I did..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"No you didn't." Softly. "You didn't want to tell me, I should have left it alone. I should know better by now."

Slight smile at that. He was kind of the same way.

"Pushing never helps."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"It's not good to keep secrets," Devin said, almost by rote.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren tugged him back against the pillows, fingers curling through his hair.

"Depends on the secret," he said, trying to settle. "Dev..."

"I'm not going anywhere." He fished around for the words that usually made it all better, what he knew of Devin so far, what Devin might be worrying about. "I'm not mad. I'm not... disgusted. It's just a lot to think about. That's all."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin curled into him almost tentatively, resting his head on his shoulder.

The words were reassuring, but his stomach still felt all tied in knots. "It wasn't..." He shrugged. "It's more honest than what I spin for the groupies, at least. There may be a veneer of falsity, but in the end, everyone knows what they're getting. No one walks away with fantasies of falling in love."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"No one who hasn't seen Pretty Woman too many times," he teased gently. Then wondered if it was the right time for teasing.

"I don't know. I just... I don't know anything about it." There was a moment of thought, then he hugged him tight. "Okay, I don't know if this makes it any better but, on a scale of disturbing things you've done, from one to ten? This rates about a four, and finding you stretched out on the bed high as a kite rates about a nine. And we worked that out, right?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He tried to crack a smile at the joke, but he was still trembling a little.

He listened though, and finally nodded slightly. There was the slightest flash of defiance in his eyes, though. "I'm not ashamed of it, and I won't apologize. It's something I'm good at and they got what they wanted, and I got what I needed from them."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"I'm not saying you should, Dev..." His fingertips stroked over his shoulder. "I'm saying it's a lot to think about. There's probably a lot of things you've been and done that are like that. You're... what, hundred some odd years old? You've probably done a lot of things that'll make me think."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin closed his eyes, and he shivered again, almost violently, because there were things he rather thought should never come out, ever.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"I'll guess that's a 'yes.'" Warren hugged him tighter.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Devin whispered, fingers curling tight in the folds of Warren's shirt.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"All right."

Something in Devin's reaction was scaring him, maybe just the force of it. But he just held him close, fingers through his hair, rubbing lightly over his shoulder.

"All right. We'll figure that out as we go along. One thing at a time."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin nodded, fingers unclenching. His head was all messed up from the rocketing high of the show to the crash of Warren pushing. He swallowed.

"I guess...I just give you time to think about it?"

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren nodded slowly. "'s about all I can think of. I ... heh. I'm not all that normal, either. There's a lot I can accept that isn't... normal. Besides, you're my friend, right? We can talk about anything."

Another kiss to his temple. "And I love you." He didn't even stutter it, which he was proud of, because just saying it made his chest go tight and his throat choke shut.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin stroked his fingers down Warren's chest, watching the path he took.

"Even still?"

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Even still, especially, in addition to, because of, always."

Even if the idea scared him.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin released a shuddering sigh of relief, wrapping his arms around him tightly and burying his face in his shoulder.

"I love you." He didn't stutter it either.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren nodded slightly, sighing long and shaky. His arms tightened around him, one hand stroking through his hair.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He pressed a kiss to Warren's cheek gently.

"I should shower..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Mm-hmm." Softly, a smile in his voice. "Sweat and hair gel is not your best look."

Then, a little more on the husky side, "Want me to wash your hair?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin wrinkled his nose. "I thought I was looking stunningly hot...or so my audience seemed to think..."

But he smiled a little. "If you want...yeah."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"That's 'cause most of the sweat didn't accumulate till after." Warren kissed his cheek, smiling, too.

"I want."

And when he slid off the bed he scooped Devin up into his arms again.