New York (LoW prompt: Bubble)

[killingsoftly]

The first couple of days had been like in a dream of pure joy. He still had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't actually dreaming, that it all was real. That more than just the fact that Warren was with him, that Warren loved him. That he ... even in his head he stumbled over the word, but he managed it...loved Warren.

There was fear there, too. Always fear, of what he could do. Of what he'd done before. That Warren would wake up one day and realize just who and what he was in bed with. That Warren didn't know the worst of it. The lives he'd taken knowingly. Purposefully.

That the full knowledge of him would burst the bubble of happiness they were floating in.

He pulled on his leather pants and shrugged into his silk shirt. Earring in, just one, shirt half unbuttoned. He added a touch of eyeliner, something to draw eyes to his. Nothing too elaborate. Nothing like what he'd paraded around in the years of Glam. But a touch. He was tousling his hair, adding in gel when his cell rang.

He glanced at the number and sighed. He almost didn't answer, but he finally did. He wondered how she'd known he was in town.

"Brenda."

"Devin, darling," her voice was always so chipper and yet refined. "You naughty boy, you didn't call and tell me you were in town."

He continued to fuss with his hair. "No, I didn't."

"I thought that was our arrangement."

"It's not? I call when I need work, luv, but currently I'm doing just fine." He wasn't, really, but his investments would hold. He'd saved well. He could afford to not have to work for her for a while.

"Devin..." She sounded like she was chiding him. "Kathryn saw your poster. She'd like to see you after the show."

"Not possible." He slapped on the aftershave a little too vehemently.

"And why not?"

"I have plans." He swallowed, closing his eyes as he prepared to cut the ties. "Rather permanent ones."

There was a long pause on the other end. "You're quitting?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. I am."

"You can't do that. You're my most successful..."

"Everyone quits at some point, Brenda. You did."

"You're at your peak!"

"I'm done." For now.

"Devin...you've always said..."

"I know." He leaned against the counter.

"You're the best."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Yeah. I know." It was his particular gift. "I'm still done, at least for now, okay?"

Another long pause and then a sigh. "She must be something."

He smiled a little. "He is."

She chuckled at that. "Kathryn will still be there tonight."

"I'll deal with her."

"She's a very important client."

"I'll deal with her nicely."

"If you ever..."

"Yeah, I know. I'll call."

She sighed one more time and then he heard the click. He set the phone aside, closing his eyes again and rubbing his temples.

He'd need to book more gigs, for the energy and the money. Cut new CDs and push them. Maybe actually put up a website with ordering. Something to bring money in to keep them going. And he'd have to make these phone calls in most major cities in America.

It wasn't going to be easy, but he just...he didn't know what Warren would say. Didn't want to find out, if it disappointed him. Didn't...He wanted them to stay as happy as they were. Whatever it took. He'd just have to pull more from the audience. Take from them what he couldn't get elsewhere. He could make it work. He gave a resolute nod, and reached to work on messing his hair up just a bit more.

Comments

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

His breath caught, because it still amazed him that Devin felt so deeply about him.

"Hey," he smiled softly, teasing. "I'm not the one with a club full of fans."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Not yet," Devin said with a grin. "But someday, and then I'll have to fight for a piece of your time."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Never," Warren told him with a smile, fingertips stroking lightly over his sides.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin leaned into him. "Never?"

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren cradled him in his arms, kissing his temple.

"Never."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin smiled, hugging him close.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren slid his fingers through Devin's hair again, this time making no comment on the hair gel and sweat mess. His arm tightened a little around Devin as he sighed softly.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin leaned into that embrace with an echoing little sigh, not wanting to move beyond it.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren kissed his cheek again. "Tell me what happened tonight?" he asked, soft.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin frowned a little in confusion. "What happened?"

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"With Kathryn?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin flushed, just a little. "Oh."

He should tell him, but it terrified him to think of Warren thinking less of him.

"She wanted me to take her home. I said no. She wasn't pleased about that."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren frowned slightly. You didn't kiss someone like that and then slap them over refusing to take ...

Well, Gwen might have. But Gwen was psychotic.

"Dev..."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin looked at him, and there was definitely wariness in his eyes, fear behind that.

"Yeah?"

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren sat up. He didn't like that look at all.

"You don't hide very well, Dev. What's going on?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"I just...why does it matter? It's over and done." He just wanted to go back to the part where they were holding and being happy.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Are..."

He bit that off before it started. It sounded like something his father would have said, and that was enough to give him the knee-jerk reaction not to say it.

"Are you in some kind of trouble?" he temporized, to finish it.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shook head. "No," he said vehemently. "I'm not in any trouble."

Brenda was disappointed, but she was hardly some back street pimp who'd come after him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Why won't you tell me?" It slipped out, soft, and a little hurt. And a little afraid.

He didn't want to be. But he was.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

The hurt nearly broke him, because he was trying not to hurt him, or disappoint him, or...something.

"It's not that..." Devin took a breath to ease the shaking, and lifted his chin. He wasn't ashamed. Terrified of Warren's reaction, but not ashamed.

"Sometimes there aren't enough gigs to pay for the times in between. Or sometimes there aren't any gigs at all. No gigs. No audience. No money. No energy. So I use my other talents to get what I need to survive. There are plenty of very rich women and men who are willing to pay very well for my company and my skills. Were willing. Kathryn, as I said at the club, was one of my regulars."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren took a second to process that through, staring at Devin.

It was a perfectly rational, even reasonable solution. There were needs, and there were skills, and there were economics lessons in the back of his mind going on about equitable trade and supply and demand.

That didn't make it any more comprehensible. "You were..." He shut his mouth. Devin had probably heard all the words before, anyway. "Oh."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin flinched at the note in his voice, perceived or not, then stared back unapologetically, though the wariness was back full-force in his eyes.

"Yes."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

He wasn't sure what to think about that. How to feel. Anyone else... but it was Devin. And Devin had peculiar needs. Was special. Special and not-special, since most of the people he'd grown up with were special.

"Huh."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin wanted to curl up on himself. In on himself. Wrap his arms around his knees and tell the world to fuck itself. But that would be a sign of weakness and doubt and shame, and he wasn't going to do that either. His voice was perfectly calm. Too calm really, given the fight or flight flashing in his eyes.

"The phone call earlier was asking if I was available this week. I told her I wasn't available any weeks. That I'd met someone and wasn't going to be pursuing that line of work. Kathryn apparently didn't believe that answer, and thought she'd try in person."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"I'm guessing from the slap sound I heard across at the bar, she didn't like what she heard."

His tone was more wry than anything else, reaching out to play with Devin's fingers a little, not quite slipping his hand into Devin's, preferring the lighter, moving touch.