The conversation had to happen sooner or later...

[killingsoftly]

Warren: Not! Gay!
Devin: *pouts*
Warren: I'm not! *wraps his arms around Devin's waist, though* I just happen to have a boyfriend.
Devin: You don't have to sound so horrified.
Warren: I'm not! Just insistent.
Devin: *doesn't comment* It's not a bad thing to be gay.
Warren: *seriously* No, it's not. Or whichever.
Devin: *still frowning*
Warren: *sighs, strokes fingers through his hair* I'm sorry, babe. I'm just.. getting tired of getting teased.
Devin: Why does it bother you if you're not...bothered by being with me?
Warren: Because half the time.. okay, when She teases she's just being silly, but half the time when .. they're teasing, they're not being nice.
Devin: *glares in their general direction* But why does it bother you? They wouldn't tease you if they didn't know they could get a rise, so...*shifting from glaring to a little lost* Why does it bother you enough that they can get that rise?
Warren: *shrugs slightly, holds him a little closer* I don't know. Something about the way they say it. Like ... they have some kind of... I don't know. *wry* Like they're trolling, and I'm the meat.
Devin: That doesn't have anything...*shrugs, pulls away a little*
Warren: *flash of outright fear, quickly suppressed* *shakes his head* You're . it's stupid. They're stupid, you're right.
Devin: *another little shrug*
Warren: *slides his hand down to curl his fingers lightly around Devin's*
Devin: *small frown, but doesn't pull away*
Warren: *expression slowly retreating back into the blank/sullen high school expression, lowering his head a bit*
Devin: I just....one day you'll....you'll get tired of the teasing, or you'll decide.....*shrugs*
Warren: Dev....
Devin: If you hate the idea of being associated with a group that likes to sleep with their own gender so very much....
Devin: What can you think of me?
Warren: *bites back something mean* It's not the idea, it's the tone .. it's.. *shakes his head angrily, fingers of his other hand flexing a bit* It's being reduced to a fucking stereotype, Dev. And then being looked at like he's going to fucking eat me.
Devin: He looks at everyone that way. He...*flinches back from the thought of him too much, flash of something in his eyes* It doesn't...I've never liked labels. I don't like stereotypes. People are people and what does it matter? But you get so angry....
Devin: Like you're ashamed you want to be with me.
Warren: This is me, Dev. This is what I am. I'm an angry guy. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. You... *small, tired smile* You haven't seen a lot of that. 'cause you make things better. But it's still me. Remember the cafeteria thing? Nearly roasting Will?
Devin: *nods* It just...what you're angry about....seems tied to the fact that you enjoy what we do...and that...*shrugs, wishing he hadn't said anything at all*
Warren: *shakes his head slightly, isn't sure what to say though, and has this sick panicky feeling that this is... something. the beginning of the end* *and maybe clings a littel tighter to Devin's hand because of it*
Devin: *pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his free arm around it tight*
Warren: Dev... *runs his free hand through his hair, still at a loss, still angry and scared*
Devin: *quietly* It's okay.
Warren: No it's not. You don't look okay.
Devin: I'm just being stupid...
Warren: No you're not... *sighs, scoots over next to him a bit* You're ... You're scared. .. So am I.
Devin: Why?
Warren: It's.. *tries to articulate, still half the time stuck in the whole teenage-macho-don't talk about feelings thing. also because he's Warren*
Warren: ... I can't help being.. what I am. How I feel, how... and maybe that's not enough. Maybe you'll get sick of the uncertainty.
Devin: *stares at him, slightly shocked*
Warren: *suddenly very, very afraid* ... what?
Devin: I'm ... you think I'd go? *almost laughing* god, I'm the most....No. I'm not....I'll stay as long as you want me, until you decide...*shrugs again, laugh turning to something closer to tears*
Warren: Dev... *scared, worried, not all that angry anymore* Dev, I'm... I've. I don't care. Gay, straight. Whatever. Bi. I don't care. *dry/bitter/self-hating* You have to live outside yourself to care about things like that in other people, and I don't. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a pretty selfish person. I don't... it doesn't bother me. That's not what bothers me. Nothing bothers me about you, about this.. not lik ethat.
Warren: And yeah. Sometimes... you know? Sometimes .. it's not like you have the ... the surety of knowing. Sometimes. I just.. I wonder.
Devin: Wonder what? *almost terrified*
Warren: *quietly, looking down, tired* Why you put up with this. With... someone who, obviously, you think could leave you any day now for some pretty girl. *back to bitter and self-hating* The uncertainty, it's gotta kill.
Warren: I mean... *sudden explosion* Why do you even put up with me?
Devin: *quietly* Because I love you.
Warren: *very small smile*
Warren: I love you, too.
Devin: I'd rather be with you, for as long as I have you than not
Warren: *small nod, lightly squeezing his hand* I'm not goign anywhere, Dev.
Devin: *squeezes back, tight and clinging*
Warren: *pulls him into his arms after a second, clinging right back*
Devin: *holds on, shaking a little*
Warren: I'm sorry, babe... I'm soso sorry. *kind of scared, almost crying, holding on tight*
Devin: *holds on to him tight, shaking* You don't need to....
Warren: *actually does start to cry, a couple hot tears* I’m sorry. I shouldn'ta said those stupid things.
Devin: *is crying a little, too, clinging to him* I shouldn't....I just get so scared you'll....that you don't really want.....me...
Warren: No.... *insistant, rocking them both a bit* No no no no... no. No. It's not like that. It's never been like that. *small smile* I'd've been happy figuring out I liked guys better than girls too. That's just.. not the way it turned out.
Devin: *tiniest flinch, but nods*
Warren: *snuffle-giggle* Believe me. I spent like two weeks checking out guys just to see... nothing. It's just you, babe. There's something special about you.
Devin: *wry, half sob* Why can't I just...*shakes his head*
Warren: Why can't you just...?

It hurt more than a little as he struggled to find the words he meant to say. "Why can't I just be happy? I have you, and if...if I'm not...or if you're not...you're still here, at least for now, and..." He swallowed back the tears, or tried to. "It just gets...like I should be smug. I should be all, 'oh, he's not gay, but for me he's willing to overlook that.' Only all I can think about when I let myself think about it, is what that means when the right girl comes along."

Comments

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren kissed him back just as soft, stretching out and resting his body along the length of Devin's, just gently pressing skin to skin.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin purred, wriggling a little. He ran his hands up and down Warren's spine, murmuring his name.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren grinned suddenly, eyes half-closing at the touch and murmuring some wordless sounds of pleasure before kissing him again. Nipping at his lower lip.

Then brushing soft kisses over his cheek, down his neck. Down his throat. He wriggled back and down a little, kissing down to his chest, where he traced a little swirl with the tip of his tongue.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned a little breathlessly, fingers tangling in his hair, anticipating already every brush of his lips.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren teased the tip of his tongue in circles over his skin, sliding down to his abdomen, then back up in a sudden darting motion to flick the tip of his tongue over his nipple.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin arched and cried out, closing his eyes as his breath went immediately shallow.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

There was a graze of teeth and a moment of pressure, more than a bite. One hand slid gently up and down his arm as he teased his tongue back down his chest, down over his abdomen, little swirls and circles and smirking, the lower he got.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned a little, writhing on the bed.

"God...Warren..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren nuzzled slightly at the base of his cock. "Mm?" Mock-innocent. His breath was coming a little fast. He was almost nervous, but the good kind of nervous.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned again, wanting, needing.

"Please..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

He really did love it when Devin begged.

One quick lick. Then one slow one, as long as he could manage, from base to tip.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin's back arched off the bed, pressing toward his lips. He whimpered, wanting, fingers stroking through Warren's hair.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren chuckled. Brushed a soft curling caress over his hip, love surging with the lust. Nuzzled again, tongue flicking briefly over skin.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin was almost panting, trying to catch his breath. He moaned, long and low and wanting..

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Lips trailed wetly along the length of his cock, the tip of his tongue teasing at his head.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin gave a strangled moan, holding on to the sheets with one hand, Warren with the other one.

"God, that feels so...good..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Another low chuckle, brushing the backs of his fingers along the inside of his thigh.

And again, teasing with the tip of his tongue before whispering. "What do you want..."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned. "You...however you want me..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Mm..." Warren licked him again, then glanced at the bag of toys Devin had brought. "Hmm."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shivered, holding his breath and trying to hold still as Warren decided..

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

One more impish lick and then Warren was off the bed and rummaging through the bag, almost, but not quite, cackling.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin made a sound of protest at being left, then shifted to his elbows to watch him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren rummaged for a second, then came up with the cuffs. Discarded them and came up with the blindfold.

Now that had possibilities.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin pouted.

"Come back..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren grinned. "You sure..."

He crawled back up onto the bed next to him, though, draping the blindfold over his eyes.