The conversation had to happen sooner or later...

[killingsoftly]

Warren: Not! Gay!
Devin: *pouts*
Warren: I'm not! *wraps his arms around Devin's waist, though* I just happen to have a boyfriend.
Devin: You don't have to sound so horrified.
Warren: I'm not! Just insistent.
Devin: *doesn't comment* It's not a bad thing to be gay.
Warren: *seriously* No, it's not. Or whichever.
Devin: *still frowning*
Warren: *sighs, strokes fingers through his hair* I'm sorry, babe. I'm just.. getting tired of getting teased.
Devin: Why does it bother you if you're not...bothered by being with me?
Warren: Because half the time.. okay, when She teases she's just being silly, but half the time when .. they're teasing, they're not being nice.
Devin: *glares in their general direction* But why does it bother you? They wouldn't tease you if they didn't know they could get a rise, so...*shifting from glaring to a little lost* Why does it bother you enough that they can get that rise?
Warren: *shrugs slightly, holds him a little closer* I don't know. Something about the way they say it. Like ... they have some kind of... I don't know. *wry* Like they're trolling, and I'm the meat.
Devin: That doesn't have anything...*shrugs, pulls away a little*
Warren: *flash of outright fear, quickly suppressed* *shakes his head* You're . it's stupid. They're stupid, you're right.
Devin: *another little shrug*
Warren: *slides his hand down to curl his fingers lightly around Devin's*
Devin: *small frown, but doesn't pull away*
Warren: *expression slowly retreating back into the blank/sullen high school expression, lowering his head a bit*
Devin: I just....one day you'll....you'll get tired of the teasing, or you'll decide.....*shrugs*
Warren: Dev....
Devin: If you hate the idea of being associated with a group that likes to sleep with their own gender so very much....
Devin: What can you think of me?
Warren: *bites back something mean* It's not the idea, it's the tone .. it's.. *shakes his head angrily, fingers of his other hand flexing a bit* It's being reduced to a fucking stereotype, Dev. And then being looked at like he's going to fucking eat me.
Devin: He looks at everyone that way. He...*flinches back from the thought of him too much, flash of something in his eyes* It doesn't...I've never liked labels. I don't like stereotypes. People are people and what does it matter? But you get so angry....
Devin: Like you're ashamed you want to be with me.
Warren: This is me, Dev. This is what I am. I'm an angry guy. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. You... *small, tired smile* You haven't seen a lot of that. 'cause you make things better. But it's still me. Remember the cafeteria thing? Nearly roasting Will?
Devin: *nods* It just...what you're angry about....seems tied to the fact that you enjoy what we do...and that...*shrugs, wishing he hadn't said anything at all*
Warren: *shakes his head slightly, isn't sure what to say though, and has this sick panicky feeling that this is... something. the beginning of the end* *and maybe clings a littel tighter to Devin's hand because of it*
Devin: *pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his free arm around it tight*
Warren: Dev... *runs his free hand through his hair, still at a loss, still angry and scared*
Devin: *quietly* It's okay.
Warren: No it's not. You don't look okay.
Devin: I'm just being stupid...
Warren: No you're not... *sighs, scoots over next to him a bit* You're ... You're scared. .. So am I.
Devin: Why?
Warren: It's.. *tries to articulate, still half the time stuck in the whole teenage-macho-don't talk about feelings thing. also because he's Warren*
Warren: ... I can't help being.. what I am. How I feel, how... and maybe that's not enough. Maybe you'll get sick of the uncertainty.
Devin: *stares at him, slightly shocked*
Warren: *suddenly very, very afraid* ... what?
Devin: I'm ... you think I'd go? *almost laughing* god, I'm the most....No. I'm not....I'll stay as long as you want me, until you decide...*shrugs again, laugh turning to something closer to tears*
Warren: Dev... *scared, worried, not all that angry anymore* Dev, I'm... I've. I don't care. Gay, straight. Whatever. Bi. I don't care. *dry/bitter/self-hating* You have to live outside yourself to care about things like that in other people, and I don't. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a pretty selfish person. I don't... it doesn't bother me. That's not what bothers me. Nothing bothers me about you, about this.. not lik ethat.
Warren: And yeah. Sometimes... you know? Sometimes .. it's not like you have the ... the surety of knowing. Sometimes. I just.. I wonder.
Devin: Wonder what? *almost terrified*
Warren: *quietly, looking down, tired* Why you put up with this. With... someone who, obviously, you think could leave you any day now for some pretty girl. *back to bitter and self-hating* The uncertainty, it's gotta kill.
Warren: I mean... *sudden explosion* Why do you even put up with me?
Devin: *quietly* Because I love you.
Warren: *very small smile*
Warren: I love you, too.
Devin: I'd rather be with you, for as long as I have you than not
Warren: *small nod, lightly squeezing his hand* I'm not goign anywhere, Dev.
Devin: *squeezes back, tight and clinging*
Warren: *pulls him into his arms after a second, clinging right back*
Devin: *holds on, shaking a little*
Warren: I'm sorry, babe... I'm soso sorry. *kind of scared, almost crying, holding on tight*
Devin: *holds on to him tight, shaking* You don't need to....
Warren: *actually does start to cry, a couple hot tears* I’m sorry. I shouldn'ta said those stupid things.
Devin: *is crying a little, too, clinging to him* I shouldn't....I just get so scared you'll....that you don't really want.....me...
Warren: No.... *insistant, rocking them both a bit* No no no no... no. No. It's not like that. It's never been like that. *small smile* I'd've been happy figuring out I liked guys better than girls too. That's just.. not the way it turned out.
Devin: *tiniest flinch, but nods*
Warren: *snuffle-giggle* Believe me. I spent like two weeks checking out guys just to see... nothing. It's just you, babe. There's something special about you.
Devin: *wry, half sob* Why can't I just...*shakes his head*
Warren: Why can't you just...?

It hurt more than a little as he struggled to find the words he meant to say. "Why can't I just be happy? I have you, and if...if I'm not...or if you're not...you're still here, at least for now, and..." He swallowed back the tears, or tried to. "It just gets...like I should be smug. I should be all, 'oh, he's not gay, but for me he's willing to overlook that.' Only all I can think about when I let myself think about it, is what that means when the right girl comes along."

Comments

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Lips slid over skin, teasing at his neck, teeth nipping behind his ear. He nuzzled at his hair, breathing them in, the mingled scents of soap and aftershave and sex and fire.

His fingers continued to tease for a few minutes before they fell away, resting on Warren's thigh. Devin slid them further away, wriggling to his hands and knees and giving Warren a look from under his lashes.

"Fuck me?"

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren had to catch his breath, force open his eyes, drag himself out of the lassitude of sex and the lingering sparks of arousal. At least enough to move.

"Mmm..." Words penetrated the fog, bringing a small smirk to his lips. He wriggled till his face was under Devin's and he could give him a somewhat sloppy upside-down kiss.

Then he was sliding off the bed and crawling back on, fingertips skating down the line of his back while his other hand sought, found the lube. He stretched out over Devin, nuzzling at his shoulder.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shivered, biting his lip. Too soon for even him to be aroused again, he wanted to feel Warren inside of him anyway. His fingers curled in the bedding for purchase and something sweet coiled in his center, ready and aching to be filled.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's hand smoothed down his back a couple of times, before fingertips pressed at his entrance, slick and soft. Either sensing his want or just going slow because they'd both had two very satisfying orgasms in the last little while, he took his time about it. Reaching two fingers deep inside, moving slowly, one hand supporting himself on the bed and stretching out warm against Devin.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned, thrusting back at him a little, reveling in the feel of him pressing so deep. He held on tighter to the bed, breath coming fast with a desperate need for more.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren half-murmured something nonsensical, half a sigh really. Kissed his shoulder, still stroking him slow from inside to out. He rose up a bit and smoothed his other hand down over his hip, down his thigh, soft little caresses.

And then, with a gentle nip to his shoulder, he pulled back. Pulled out and slicked the lube over himself before stretching out overtop, against Devin. Just teasing him for the moment, rubbing up against him a little.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin wriggled, bordering on impatient with a whimper on his lips.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

He started to slide in, keeping it slow, one hand on Devin's hip and the other pressing into the bed. He took his time, making sure they both felt every inch. And then, just resting in him, leaning over and licking a wet line down his spine.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin whimpered and shivered at the lick. He closed his eyes, letting his head fall forward a bit as he pressed back, just as slow but definitely helping it all along.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Licking was followed by nipping, almost a bite. And only then did he start up a slow, forceful rhythm. Nothing abrupt or savage about it, but his posture and the fullness of his thrusts and the pressure of his fingertips were definitely laying claim to Devin.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin was more than happy to be claimed. He moaned again, moving in the rhythm Warren set to thrust back against him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

He forced his hand to open a little, sliding it down over Devin's thigh and between his legs. He felt so, so damn good. Another lick along his spine, and murmured words to that effect as he closed his eyes to revel in the feel of plunging inside him.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

The touch of Warren's hand made him whimper. He was still so sensitive and it just caused shivers to dance all over him.

"God..."

So full and there were kisses and touches and it wasn't like other times, not really, not with those licks and fingers and all he could think was that he wanted more.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren smirked against his back, adding a little rocking of the hips to his thrusts, a little hook-rocking motion at the end.

Fingertips danced over shaft and head and then down his thigh again. Soft kisses down his back, something murmured with love in it, and desire thrumming all through his voice.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned at each thrust, sounds of enjoyment falling from his lips as pleasure followed each hook, each kiss, each touch. There were stars in the black behind his eyelid, the good kind, and he wanted to sink into sensation, reaching out, just a bit, to pull in some of Warren's pleasure, some of that heady desire. Just a taste, but enough to make him moan again.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren gasped slightly, shivering, rhythm faltering for a second in the pure pleasure of the moment. His hand slid back to clutching at Devin's hip, forcing himself not to speed up, then, when he was more in control of himself again, back between his legs to play along his cock.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He stopped himself before he drank too deep, whimpering Warren's name. He wanted and for all his years of doing this he couldn't say exactly what he needed. Something more than physical and not taking it made his head spin.

"Please..." A soft moan, moving back against him urgently.

ooc: I HATE this computer. HATE. *cries* I may not be on much or at all when home. I can't get wireless keyboard to work. I can't get wireless network to work. So I'm hard wired and leaning forward over the coffee table to type and I just. So much hate. *cries more*

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"It's all right," he murmured, reassuring with tacit permission even if he didn't quite know what he was giving permission for. There was something tickling at the edge of his mind. Something he should have known. Some need.

His hand slid back along his thigh as he addressed the need he did know and understand now, speeding up a bit finally, taking him with sharper, still careful thrusts.

He stretched out over Devin carefully, rising up a bit till it was more thrusting from hips and legs, and he was just supporting himself on the one hand, other hand sliding down his side and over his thigh and brushing over him again.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

It wasn't, really, but he was too drained to not fall into it, pulling more from him, drinking deeper than he normally did until even he wasn't sure where one of them ended and the other began. His hips jerked with each thrust, each touch, moving with Warren and begging him to go harder, faster and push them both.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren moaned. Might have made a soft little cry, fingers curling around his cock and stroking in time with his thrusts that suddenly went ragged, and faster. Need was piling up on need and as much as he'd wanted to spin this out, push it farther, he simply wasn't going to be able to. Sweat poured down his chest, he moaned over Devin's back. So close.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He tried to stop the spiral down into Warren, merging them more closely, but in the end all he could do ride the wave and forget about staying afloat. He was shivering, but because of nothing but pleasure. His pleasure. Warren's pleasure. Wanting more and more and pulling them both with him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

His world was drowning in it, falling into a pulse and a desperate need and his fingers curled tight in the blankets. Something surfaced, Devin's name falling from his lips, some sleepy awareness of what was going on and a sex-colored sense of delight at the unity and then the pleasure consumed him as he shuddered, clutched at Devin's hip, head thrown back and crying out as he came.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

He shouldn't have been able to come again so quickly, but Warren's climax threw him up against the metaphorical wall and he came with a cry, shuddering under the force of both of them and drinking it down, pulling it into himself even as he tried to force it back out and into Warren.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Weariness struck a second after his climax left him shuddering and wet. He leaned back, pulled out and back, dropping back on his haunches and almost falling backwards, eyes rolling a bit in his head.

"Whoa..." he murmured.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin was still floating, shaking a bit with the force of it and trying to make his head work again. Warren's collapse caught him enough that he shifted, reaching for him, scared and unable to gauge how much he'd taken until he could think more clearly.

"Warren!"