The conversation had to happen sooner or later...

[killingsoftly]

Warren: Not! Gay!
Devin: *pouts*
Warren: I'm not! *wraps his arms around Devin's waist, though* I just happen to have a boyfriend.
Devin: You don't have to sound so horrified.
Warren: I'm not! Just insistent.
Devin: *doesn't comment* It's not a bad thing to be gay.
Warren: *seriously* No, it's not. Or whichever.
Devin: *still frowning*
Warren: *sighs, strokes fingers through his hair* I'm sorry, babe. I'm just.. getting tired of getting teased.
Devin: Why does it bother you if you're not...bothered by being with me?
Warren: Because half the time.. okay, when She teases she's just being silly, but half the time when .. they're teasing, they're not being nice.
Devin: *glares in their general direction* But why does it bother you? They wouldn't tease you if they didn't know they could get a rise, so...*shifting from glaring to a little lost* Why does it bother you enough that they can get that rise?
Warren: *shrugs slightly, holds him a little closer* I don't know. Something about the way they say it. Like ... they have some kind of... I don't know. *wry* Like they're trolling, and I'm the meat.
Devin: That doesn't have anything...*shrugs, pulls away a little*
Warren: *flash of outright fear, quickly suppressed* *shakes his head* You're . it's stupid. They're stupid, you're right.
Devin: *another little shrug*
Warren: *slides his hand down to curl his fingers lightly around Devin's*
Devin: *small frown, but doesn't pull away*
Warren: *expression slowly retreating back into the blank/sullen high school expression, lowering his head a bit*
Devin: I just....one day you'll....you'll get tired of the teasing, or you'll decide.....*shrugs*
Warren: Dev....
Devin: If you hate the idea of being associated with a group that likes to sleep with their own gender so very much....
Devin: What can you think of me?
Warren: *bites back something mean* It's not the idea, it's the tone .. it's.. *shakes his head angrily, fingers of his other hand flexing a bit* It's being reduced to a fucking stereotype, Dev. And then being looked at like he's going to fucking eat me.
Devin: He looks at everyone that way. He...*flinches back from the thought of him too much, flash of something in his eyes* It doesn't...I've never liked labels. I don't like stereotypes. People are people and what does it matter? But you get so angry....
Devin: Like you're ashamed you want to be with me.
Warren: This is me, Dev. This is what I am. I'm an angry guy. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. You... *small, tired smile* You haven't seen a lot of that. 'cause you make things better. But it's still me. Remember the cafeteria thing? Nearly roasting Will?
Devin: *nods* It just...what you're angry about....seems tied to the fact that you enjoy what we do...and that...*shrugs, wishing he hadn't said anything at all*
Warren: *shakes his head slightly, isn't sure what to say though, and has this sick panicky feeling that this is... something. the beginning of the end* *and maybe clings a littel tighter to Devin's hand because of it*
Devin: *pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his free arm around it tight*
Warren: Dev... *runs his free hand through his hair, still at a loss, still angry and scared*
Devin: *quietly* It's okay.
Warren: No it's not. You don't look okay.
Devin: I'm just being stupid...
Warren: No you're not... *sighs, scoots over next to him a bit* You're ... You're scared. .. So am I.
Devin: Why?
Warren: It's.. *tries to articulate, still half the time stuck in the whole teenage-macho-don't talk about feelings thing. also because he's Warren*
Warren: ... I can't help being.. what I am. How I feel, how... and maybe that's not enough. Maybe you'll get sick of the uncertainty.
Devin: *stares at him, slightly shocked*
Warren: *suddenly very, very afraid* ... what?
Devin: I'm ... you think I'd go? *almost laughing* god, I'm the most....No. I'm not....I'll stay as long as you want me, until you decide...*shrugs again, laugh turning to something closer to tears*
Warren: Dev... *scared, worried, not all that angry anymore* Dev, I'm... I've. I don't care. Gay, straight. Whatever. Bi. I don't care. *dry/bitter/self-hating* You have to live outside yourself to care about things like that in other people, and I don't. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a pretty selfish person. I don't... it doesn't bother me. That's not what bothers me. Nothing bothers me about you, about this.. not lik ethat.
Warren: And yeah. Sometimes... you know? Sometimes .. it's not like you have the ... the surety of knowing. Sometimes. I just.. I wonder.
Devin: Wonder what? *almost terrified*
Warren: *quietly, looking down, tired* Why you put up with this. With... someone who, obviously, you think could leave you any day now for some pretty girl. *back to bitter and self-hating* The uncertainty, it's gotta kill.
Warren: I mean... *sudden explosion* Why do you even put up with me?
Devin: *quietly* Because I love you.
Warren: *very small smile*
Warren: I love you, too.
Devin: I'd rather be with you, for as long as I have you than not
Warren: *small nod, lightly squeezing his hand* I'm not goign anywhere, Dev.
Devin: *squeezes back, tight and clinging*
Warren: *pulls him into his arms after a second, clinging right back*
Devin: *holds on, shaking a little*
Warren: I'm sorry, babe... I'm soso sorry. *kind of scared, almost crying, holding on tight*
Devin: *holds on to him tight, shaking* You don't need to....
Warren: *actually does start to cry, a couple hot tears* I’m sorry. I shouldn'ta said those stupid things.
Devin: *is crying a little, too, clinging to him* I shouldn't....I just get so scared you'll....that you don't really want.....me...
Warren: No.... *insistant, rocking them both a bit* No no no no... no. No. It's not like that. It's never been like that. *small smile* I'd've been happy figuring out I liked guys better than girls too. That's just.. not the way it turned out.
Devin: *tiniest flinch, but nods*
Warren: *snuffle-giggle* Believe me. I spent like two weeks checking out guys just to see... nothing. It's just you, babe. There's something special about you.
Devin: *wry, half sob* Why can't I just...*shakes his head*
Warren: Why can't you just...?

It hurt more than a little as he struggled to find the words he meant to say. "Why can't I just be happy? I have you, and if...if I'm not...or if you're not...you're still here, at least for now, and..." He swallowed back the tears, or tried to. "It just gets...like I should be smug. I should be all, 'oh, he's not gay, but for me he's willing to overlook that.' Only all I can think about when I let myself think about it, is what that means when the right girl comes along."

Comments

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren whimpered. Writhed a bit, nails scratching lightly over his back, fingertips clutching. "Please..." he gasped. Please something. Harder. More intense.

((ooc: *snorts, amused* We hit dictionary dot com, which gave a bunch of things relating to sexual relations between members of the same sex, and one going with tendency towards. Which made him giggle and go "HAH! I win." But. The BBM-watching post is up, or Devin could bring it up/ask on the four questions meme. 'cause really, they should talk about it at some point. BBM might be better for working up to it/tangentially approaching.))

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned at the whimper and relented, thrusting into him harder, faster. He bit again, this time not as gently and his tongue traced the mark he left.

((ooc: You think they should discuss it again? I fear that...despite the fact that this is supposed to be their makinng up/it's okay thread.. *wry* Note the efforts Devin is going to in order to point out that he likes the sex.))

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Fingertips dug into flesh, nails biting, as Warren arched into him and definitely moaned his pleasure. It felt like lightning along his spine. Liquid fire pooling and heating his body. Like the world was on fire.

((ooc: I think it might help if Warren explains what he means, and Devin points it out, and Warren goes "Okay, yeah, by that definition, sure." Just sort of.. not being afraid to be called gay? It might ease Devin's mind, I dunno. They didn't get all that much into meanings or definitions last time. 's up to you.))

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned again, feeling the heat sliding along Warren and between them both. He felt himself flushing with it, skin prickling. Another kiss, another bite, and he was trembling on the edge, feeling ready to fall over.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

The world swam down into scents and feelings and tastes. Sight blurred, sound melded into one long panting breath and sigh. He could smell Devin all over him, and the thickness of sex in the air. Feel his hands slipping over his back through their sweat, the heat and relative cool of Devin's body over his, the fullness of Devin inside him. The taste of Devin on his mouth. It was all one big pulse, wave after wave surging over him until he was begging for release.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin thrust, short and fast and desperate for his own release after teasing so long. He whimpered, then moaned and sped up even as he started to shake. A soft, garbled noise, then Warren's name clearly and he came with a sob.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

He felt his breath hitch, stop, and the force of his climax ripped through him, tensing all over and then shaking him loose as his fingers dug into Devin's back. He might have cried out, he wasn't sure. Couldn't tell. There was a moment of ecstacy so sharp it was almost painful and then everything was comfortable warmth and that draining sense of weakness and satiation.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shivered against him and pressed lips to his skin, tasting the heat and sweat on his tongue.

"God, you're amazing..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren laughed a little at that, breathless and still only semi-coherent.

"I'm amazing?" He reached up a shaking hand to caress his cheek.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Mmhmm..." Devin turned his head to kiss his palm. "So amazing."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren was remembering how to breathe.

"You're incredible."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin flushed, smiled. "Not all that much."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Yes you are," he grinned up at him, eyes sparkling. "And amazing."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

More flushing and a happy smile, nuzzling at his jaw.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Fingertips teased along his spine, snuggling close and grinning happily, nipping a little at his earlobe as he nuzzled back.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin shivered.

"Careful..." It was a soft murmur over skin.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Mmm?" Low and rolling and thrumming with all kinds of naughty ideas.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Or you'll get me all started again..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Mm-hmm." That had been part of the idea, yes.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin chuckled, nibbling at his jaw. "I don't want to wear you out too early..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Too early?" Warren grinned. "Why, you got plans for the rest of the night?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Lots of them....."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

"Ooh." Fingertips up his side. "Sounds like fun."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

((ooc: also--post is up? *hits refresh, frowns*))

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

(( here ))