The conversation had to happen sooner or later...

[killingsoftly]

Warren: Not! Gay!
Devin: *pouts*
Warren: I'm not! *wraps his arms around Devin's waist, though* I just happen to have a boyfriend.
Devin: You don't have to sound so horrified.
Warren: I'm not! Just insistent.
Devin: *doesn't comment* It's not a bad thing to be gay.
Warren: *seriously* No, it's not. Or whichever.
Devin: *still frowning*
Warren: *sighs, strokes fingers through his hair* I'm sorry, babe. I'm just.. getting tired of getting teased.
Devin: Why does it bother you if you're not...bothered by being with me?
Warren: Because half the time.. okay, when She teases she's just being silly, but half the time when .. they're teasing, they're not being nice.
Devin: *glares in their general direction* But why does it bother you? They wouldn't tease you if they didn't know they could get a rise, so...*shifting from glaring to a little lost* Why does it bother you enough that they can get that rise?
Warren: *shrugs slightly, holds him a little closer* I don't know. Something about the way they say it. Like ... they have some kind of... I don't know. *wry* Like they're trolling, and I'm the meat.
Devin: That doesn't have anything...*shrugs, pulls away a little*
Warren: *flash of outright fear, quickly suppressed* *shakes his head* You're . it's stupid. They're stupid, you're right.
Devin: *another little shrug*
Warren: *slides his hand down to curl his fingers lightly around Devin's*
Devin: *small frown, but doesn't pull away*
Warren: *expression slowly retreating back into the blank/sullen high school expression, lowering his head a bit*
Devin: I just....one day you'll....you'll get tired of the teasing, or you'll decide.....*shrugs*
Warren: Dev....
Devin: If you hate the idea of being associated with a group that likes to sleep with their own gender so very much....
Devin: What can you think of me?
Warren: *bites back something mean* It's not the idea, it's the tone .. it's.. *shakes his head angrily, fingers of his other hand flexing a bit* It's being reduced to a fucking stereotype, Dev. And then being looked at like he's going to fucking eat me.
Devin: He looks at everyone that way. He...*flinches back from the thought of him too much, flash of something in his eyes* It doesn't...I've never liked labels. I don't like stereotypes. People are people and what does it matter? But you get so angry....
Devin: Like you're ashamed you want to be with me.
Warren: This is me, Dev. This is what I am. I'm an angry guy. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. You... *small, tired smile* You haven't seen a lot of that. 'cause you make things better. But it's still me. Remember the cafeteria thing? Nearly roasting Will?
Devin: *nods* It just...what you're angry about....seems tied to the fact that you enjoy what we do...and that...*shrugs, wishing he hadn't said anything at all*
Warren: *shakes his head slightly, isn't sure what to say though, and has this sick panicky feeling that this is... something. the beginning of the end* *and maybe clings a littel tighter to Devin's hand because of it*
Devin: *pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his free arm around it tight*
Warren: Dev... *runs his free hand through his hair, still at a loss, still angry and scared*
Devin: *quietly* It's okay.
Warren: No it's not. You don't look okay.
Devin: I'm just being stupid...
Warren: No you're not... *sighs, scoots over next to him a bit* You're ... You're scared. .. So am I.
Devin: Why?
Warren: It's.. *tries to articulate, still half the time stuck in the whole teenage-macho-don't talk about feelings thing. also because he's Warren*
Warren: ... I can't help being.. what I am. How I feel, how... and maybe that's not enough. Maybe you'll get sick of the uncertainty.
Devin: *stares at him, slightly shocked*
Warren: *suddenly very, very afraid* ... what?
Devin: I'm ... you think I'd go? *almost laughing* god, I'm the most....No. I'm not....I'll stay as long as you want me, until you decide...*shrugs again, laugh turning to something closer to tears*
Warren: Dev... *scared, worried, not all that angry anymore* Dev, I'm... I've. I don't care. Gay, straight. Whatever. Bi. I don't care. *dry/bitter/self-hating* You have to live outside yourself to care about things like that in other people, and I don't. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a pretty selfish person. I don't... it doesn't bother me. That's not what bothers me. Nothing bothers me about you, about this.. not lik ethat.
Warren: And yeah. Sometimes... you know? Sometimes .. it's not like you have the ... the surety of knowing. Sometimes. I just.. I wonder.
Devin: Wonder what? *almost terrified*
Warren: *quietly, looking down, tired* Why you put up with this. With... someone who, obviously, you think could leave you any day now for some pretty girl. *back to bitter and self-hating* The uncertainty, it's gotta kill.
Warren: I mean... *sudden explosion* Why do you even put up with me?
Devin: *quietly* Because I love you.
Warren: *very small smile*
Warren: I love you, too.
Devin: I'd rather be with you, for as long as I have you than not
Warren: *small nod, lightly squeezing his hand* I'm not goign anywhere, Dev.
Devin: *squeezes back, tight and clinging*
Warren: *pulls him into his arms after a second, clinging right back*
Devin: *holds on, shaking a little*
Warren: I'm sorry, babe... I'm soso sorry. *kind of scared, almost crying, holding on tight*
Devin: *holds on to him tight, shaking* You don't need to....
Warren: *actually does start to cry, a couple hot tears* I’m sorry. I shouldn'ta said those stupid things.
Devin: *is crying a little, too, clinging to him* I shouldn't....I just get so scared you'll....that you don't really want.....me...
Warren: No.... *insistant, rocking them both a bit* No no no no... no. No. It's not like that. It's never been like that. *small smile* I'd've been happy figuring out I liked guys better than girls too. That's just.. not the way it turned out.
Devin: *tiniest flinch, but nods*
Warren: *snuffle-giggle* Believe me. I spent like two weeks checking out guys just to see... nothing. It's just you, babe. There's something special about you.
Devin: *wry, half sob* Why can't I just...*shakes his head*
Warren: Why can't you just...?

It hurt more than a little as he struggled to find the words he meant to say. "Why can't I just be happy? I have you, and if...if I'm not...or if you're not...you're still here, at least for now, and..." He swallowed back the tears, or tried to. "It just gets...like I should be smug. I should be all, 'oh, he's not gay, but for me he's willing to overlook that.' Only all I can think about when I let myself think about it, is what that means when the right girl comes along."

Comments

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin smiled back and kissed him, almost gently as he slid along his length, teasing a bit.

ooc: Why am I getting two of everything?

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren shivered, whimpered, pleading. Kissed him back with shy eagerness.

ooc: I think it's the tracking thing. Why did Warren go suddenly submissive? *eyes him oddly*

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin ran fingers up his side, teasing over ribs before tangling in his hair.

ooc: But I'm not tracking this one? And am getting two notifs for it regularly...*eyes it* And I don't know?

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren wriggled a bit, smiling, hands along his sides, down to his hips.

ooc: .. *pokes it* Bleh. Wacky boy.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin kissed him again, more deeply, exploring the depths of his mouth and whimpering against his lips.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Breathless, panting a little, his hips started to rock up against Devin's, just for the sensation of skin sliding over skin.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

ooc: Could you link me to the fairytale magazine thingy you showed me before and the chick's LJ? I bookmarked on old computer and now has gone boom, of course, and so I don't have it anymore...wanted to see if some small Devin piece would work for them.

And am off to meeting now. Bah.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

ooc: Just finished a really bad movie about zombies, but I about feel like a zombie, so that fits. Let me see if I can find it again, if not, ask upstart_crow, she'd know.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

ooc: I think this is it and this is her. I think.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

ooc: YES! Thank you!!! :) :)

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned, so ready from before and wanting more than he could say. He stroked fingers over Warren, then fumbled to find the lube without breaking contact of the kiss.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren shivered at the touch, whimpering again into his mouth, arching into him, begging silently.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin kept his movements slow and deliberate, despite an almost overwhelming need. He slicked his fingers, teasing over Warren, around his hole, then sliding slowly into him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's back arched, a soft cry slipping from him as he shuddered, hands clutching at shoulders to hold on somehow.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

For all that he was desperate, needing him, Devin was determined to not hurry. He slid a second finger in, stretching, slicking, feeling his heat as he captured his tongue in a slow dance that mimicked the movement below.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren was on the ragged edge of begging, shuddering with the effort of staying still under the pressure and the pleasure Devin's fingers were generating. He kissed him back with wanton eagerness, almost sloppy in his need.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin nipped at his lower lip, almost chuckling then shifted, easing closer to him, positioning and pressing inside just as he kissed him deeply again.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren kissed him back, needing and passionate. One leg wrapped around his, hand pressed to the small of his back and holding on tight as he rocked back against him, sighing into his mouth.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin kept his movements slow and controlled, thrusting in, then pulling out. His fingers settled on Warren's face, touching lightly and softly as he moved.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's eyes opened slowly and the look he gave Devin was wondering and very much in love. Lips parted, breathless, he turned to kiss his fingertips as a soft moan slipped out, legs trembling a little with the tension.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin smiled at him slowly, sweetly, keeping the easy rhythm and savoring the feel of him under him, around him. His fingers brushed over Warren's lips, and his eyes fell closed again under the sound of that moan.

((ooc: Dude. He made me look up the definition of "gay"))

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

A shy smile flickered over his lips, another kiss before something shivered inside him again and he gasped, whimpered a bit. He was going so slow, exquisite in its torture and even so he rocked against him, begging for more.

((ooc: *falls over laughing* And the verdict?))

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin lowered his head, nipping at his neck, finding all the sensitive spots and sliding over them with gentle precision and a sharp edge of his teeth.

((ooc: *snorts* "A person who is sexually attracted to and/or has sex with someone of the same sex" "a person who romantically desires another person of the same sex." Granted there were plenty who defined it Warren's way, too, but I think that's where Devin's coming from? *g* Though I pointed out the definition of homosexuality that was "Sexual relations with another of the same sex or gender regardless of sexual orientation or self-identification" and he just pouted))

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren whimpered. Writhed a bit, nails scratching lightly over his back, fingertips clutching. "Please..." he gasped. Please something. Harder. More intense.

((ooc: *snorts, amused* We hit dictionary dot com, which gave a bunch of things relating to sexual relations between members of the same sex, and one going with tendency towards. Which made him giggle and go "HAH! I win." But. The BBM-watching post is up, or Devin could bring it up/ask on the four questions meme. 'cause really, they should talk about it at some point. BBM might be better for working up to it/tangentially approaching.))

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned at the whimper and relented, thrusting into him harder, faster. He bit again, this time not as gently and his tongue traced the mark he left.

((ooc: You think they should discuss it again? I fear that...despite the fact that this is supposed to be their makinng up/it's okay thread.. *wry* Note the efforts Devin is going to in order to point out that he likes the sex.))