The conversation had to happen sooner or later...

[killingsoftly]

Warren: Not! Gay!
Devin: *pouts*
Warren: I'm not! *wraps his arms around Devin's waist, though* I just happen to have a boyfriend.
Devin: You don't have to sound so horrified.
Warren: I'm not! Just insistent.
Devin: *doesn't comment* It's not a bad thing to be gay.
Warren: *seriously* No, it's not. Or whichever.
Devin: *still frowning*
Warren: *sighs, strokes fingers through his hair* I'm sorry, babe. I'm just.. getting tired of getting teased.
Devin: Why does it bother you if you're not...bothered by being with me?
Warren: Because half the time.. okay, when She teases she's just being silly, but half the time when .. they're teasing, they're not being nice.
Devin: *glares in their general direction* But why does it bother you? They wouldn't tease you if they didn't know they could get a rise, so...*shifting from glaring to a little lost* Why does it bother you enough that they can get that rise?
Warren: *shrugs slightly, holds him a little closer* I don't know. Something about the way they say it. Like ... they have some kind of... I don't know. *wry* Like they're trolling, and I'm the meat.
Devin: That doesn't have anything...*shrugs, pulls away a little*
Warren: *flash of outright fear, quickly suppressed* *shakes his head* You're . it's stupid. They're stupid, you're right.
Devin: *another little shrug*
Warren: *slides his hand down to curl his fingers lightly around Devin's*
Devin: *small frown, but doesn't pull away*
Warren: *expression slowly retreating back into the blank/sullen high school expression, lowering his head a bit*
Devin: I just....one day you'll....you'll get tired of the teasing, or you'll decide.....*shrugs*
Warren: Dev....
Devin: If you hate the idea of being associated with a group that likes to sleep with their own gender so very much....
Devin: What can you think of me?
Warren: *bites back something mean* It's not the idea, it's the tone .. it's.. *shakes his head angrily, fingers of his other hand flexing a bit* It's being reduced to a fucking stereotype, Dev. And then being looked at like he's going to fucking eat me.
Devin: He looks at everyone that way. He...*flinches back from the thought of him too much, flash of something in his eyes* It doesn't...I've never liked labels. I don't like stereotypes. People are people and what does it matter? But you get so angry....
Devin: Like you're ashamed you want to be with me.
Warren: This is me, Dev. This is what I am. I'm an angry guy. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. You... *small, tired smile* You haven't seen a lot of that. 'cause you make things better. But it's still me. Remember the cafeteria thing? Nearly roasting Will?
Devin: *nods* It just...what you're angry about....seems tied to the fact that you enjoy what we do...and that...*shrugs, wishing he hadn't said anything at all*
Warren: *shakes his head slightly, isn't sure what to say though, and has this sick panicky feeling that this is... something. the beginning of the end* *and maybe clings a littel tighter to Devin's hand because of it*
Devin: *pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his free arm around it tight*
Warren: Dev... *runs his free hand through his hair, still at a loss, still angry and scared*
Devin: *quietly* It's okay.
Warren: No it's not. You don't look okay.
Devin: I'm just being stupid...
Warren: No you're not... *sighs, scoots over next to him a bit* You're ... You're scared. .. So am I.
Devin: Why?
Warren: It's.. *tries to articulate, still half the time stuck in the whole teenage-macho-don't talk about feelings thing. also because he's Warren*
Warren: ... I can't help being.. what I am. How I feel, how... and maybe that's not enough. Maybe you'll get sick of the uncertainty.
Devin: *stares at him, slightly shocked*
Warren: *suddenly very, very afraid* ... what?
Devin: I'm ... you think I'd go? *almost laughing* god, I'm the most....No. I'm not....I'll stay as long as you want me, until you decide...*shrugs again, laugh turning to something closer to tears*
Warren: Dev... *scared, worried, not all that angry anymore* Dev, I'm... I've. I don't care. Gay, straight. Whatever. Bi. I don't care. *dry/bitter/self-hating* You have to live outside yourself to care about things like that in other people, and I don't. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a pretty selfish person. I don't... it doesn't bother me. That's not what bothers me. Nothing bothers me about you, about this.. not lik ethat.
Warren: And yeah. Sometimes... you know? Sometimes .. it's not like you have the ... the surety of knowing. Sometimes. I just.. I wonder.
Devin: Wonder what? *almost terrified*
Warren: *quietly, looking down, tired* Why you put up with this. With... someone who, obviously, you think could leave you any day now for some pretty girl. *back to bitter and self-hating* The uncertainty, it's gotta kill.
Warren: I mean... *sudden explosion* Why do you even put up with me?
Devin: *quietly* Because I love you.
Warren: *very small smile*
Warren: I love you, too.
Devin: I'd rather be with you, for as long as I have you than not
Warren: *small nod, lightly squeezing his hand* I'm not goign anywhere, Dev.
Devin: *squeezes back, tight and clinging*
Warren: *pulls him into his arms after a second, clinging right back*
Devin: *holds on, shaking a little*
Warren: I'm sorry, babe... I'm soso sorry. *kind of scared, almost crying, holding on tight*
Devin: *holds on to him tight, shaking* You don't need to....
Warren: *actually does start to cry, a couple hot tears* I’m sorry. I shouldn'ta said those stupid things.
Devin: *is crying a little, too, clinging to him* I shouldn't....I just get so scared you'll....that you don't really want.....me...
Warren: No.... *insistant, rocking them both a bit* No no no no... no. No. It's not like that. It's never been like that. *small smile* I'd've been happy figuring out I liked guys better than girls too. That's just.. not the way it turned out.
Devin: *tiniest flinch, but nods*
Warren: *snuffle-giggle* Believe me. I spent like two weeks checking out guys just to see... nothing. It's just you, babe. There's something special about you.
Devin: *wry, half sob* Why can't I just...*shakes his head*
Warren: Why can't you just...?

It hurt more than a little as he struggled to find the words he meant to say. "Why can't I just be happy? I have you, and if...if I'm not...or if you're not...you're still here, at least for now, and..." He swallowed back the tears, or tried to. "It just gets...like I should be smug. I should be all, 'oh, he's not gay, but for me he's willing to overlook that.' Only all I can think about when I let myself think about it, is what that means when the right girl comes along."

Comments

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin hummed his pleasure around Warren's cock, tongue teasing again, then again, then another time. The fingers on his hip slid back to his ass, teasing there, and over him, smirking a bit.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Definitely a whimper, and some sort of strangled cry as his hips started to rock. His fingers tightened, then smoothed over his hair, then tightened again.

He managed to gasp out his name as a kind of warning, but he was so close.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin murmured his encouragement softly, humming around him as he started to suck him harder and deeper with a low moan in his throat. His finger continued to trace around him, and then pressed slowly inside.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Every second of sensation pushed him further until he tumbled, shaking and with a low cry, over the edge, climax ripping through him on a wave of heat and sweat and Devin's sweet mouth.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin eagerly lapped each up drop, tongue curling around him, easing him down, fingers stroking gently as he felt him wash over and through him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

It took a second for the dizziness to fade, for the strength to come back to his legs. He trailed a caress down Devin's cheek, smiling softly, wonderingly down at him.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin eased back onto his heels, smiling up at him impishly.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

His fingertips brushed over his lips.

"Want something?"

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin nipped at his fingertips. "It's possible."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren shivered a bit.

"Tell me."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin's smile was slow, deliberate.

"I want to fuck you..."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's eyes slid half-closed, shivering again, more pronounced. It sounded so... dirty. So deliciously rampant, and he nodded, somehow sliding into a submissive posture without lowering his head or moving more than a millimeter or two.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin rose with a fluid grace and wound his fingers through Warren's hair, pulling him close. His lips fit themselves over Warren's and he kissed him hard and deep.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's arms slid around his waist, hands pressed to his back, whimpering a little into his mouth. His kiss was submissive, mouth opening for him, though no less eager.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin moaned softly in his mouth, kissing him again, hard and fast and nipping sharply at his lips.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren whimpered. Rocked against him, fingers back to working a little clumsily at his pants, stripping him slowly.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin helped, wriggling out of his pants and kicking them aside, then pressed into him, hard and wanting against him.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren gasped, then started to move, back, tugging him towards the bed again.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin followed with a small smile, then pushed just enough to tumble them back on to the bed.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Smiling almost shyly as he pulled him on top of him, arched up into him. Devin was warm and he was still sensitive and it felt so good.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin smiled back and kissed him, almost gently as he slid along his length, teasing a bit.

ooc: Why am I getting two of everything?

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren shivered, whimpered, pleading. Kissed him back with shy eagerness.

ooc: I think it's the tracking thing. Why did Warren go suddenly submissive? *eyes him oddly*

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin ran fingers up his side, teasing over ribs before tangling in his hair.

ooc: But I'm not tracking this one? And am getting two notifs for it regularly...*eyes it* And I don't know?

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren wriggled a bit, smiling, hands along his sides, down to his hips.

ooc: .. *pokes it* Bleh. Wacky boy.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin kissed him again, more deeply, exploring the depths of his mouth and whimpering against his lips.