The conversation had to happen sooner or later...

[killingsoftly]

Warren: Not! Gay!
Devin: *pouts*
Warren: I'm not! *wraps his arms around Devin's waist, though* I just happen to have a boyfriend.
Devin: You don't have to sound so horrified.
Warren: I'm not! Just insistent.
Devin: *doesn't comment* It's not a bad thing to be gay.
Warren: *seriously* No, it's not. Or whichever.
Devin: *still frowning*
Warren: *sighs, strokes fingers through his hair* I'm sorry, babe. I'm just.. getting tired of getting teased.
Devin: Why does it bother you if you're not...bothered by being with me?
Warren: Because half the time.. okay, when She teases she's just being silly, but half the time when .. they're teasing, they're not being nice.
Devin: *glares in their general direction* But why does it bother you? They wouldn't tease you if they didn't know they could get a rise, so...*shifting from glaring to a little lost* Why does it bother you enough that they can get that rise?
Warren: *shrugs slightly, holds him a little closer* I don't know. Something about the way they say it. Like ... they have some kind of... I don't know. *wry* Like they're trolling, and I'm the meat.
Devin: That doesn't have anything...*shrugs, pulls away a little*
Warren: *flash of outright fear, quickly suppressed* *shakes his head* You're . it's stupid. They're stupid, you're right.
Devin: *another little shrug*
Warren: *slides his hand down to curl his fingers lightly around Devin's*
Devin: *small frown, but doesn't pull away*
Warren: *expression slowly retreating back into the blank/sullen high school expression, lowering his head a bit*
Devin: I just....one day you'll....you'll get tired of the teasing, or you'll decide.....*shrugs*
Warren: Dev....
Devin: If you hate the idea of being associated with a group that likes to sleep with their own gender so very much....
Devin: What can you think of me?
Warren: *bites back something mean* It's not the idea, it's the tone .. it's.. *shakes his head angrily, fingers of his other hand flexing a bit* It's being reduced to a fucking stereotype, Dev. And then being looked at like he's going to fucking eat me.
Devin: He looks at everyone that way. He...*flinches back from the thought of him too much, flash of something in his eyes* It doesn't...I've never liked labels. I don't like stereotypes. People are people and what does it matter? But you get so angry....
Devin: Like you're ashamed you want to be with me.
Warren: This is me, Dev. This is what I am. I'm an angry guy. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. You... *small, tired smile* You haven't seen a lot of that. 'cause you make things better. But it's still me. Remember the cafeteria thing? Nearly roasting Will?
Devin: *nods* It just...what you're angry about....seems tied to the fact that you enjoy what we do...and that...*shrugs, wishing he hadn't said anything at all*
Warren: *shakes his head slightly, isn't sure what to say though, and has this sick panicky feeling that this is... something. the beginning of the end* *and maybe clings a littel tighter to Devin's hand because of it*
Devin: *pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his free arm around it tight*
Warren: Dev... *runs his free hand through his hair, still at a loss, still angry and scared*
Devin: *quietly* It's okay.
Warren: No it's not. You don't look okay.
Devin: I'm just being stupid...
Warren: No you're not... *sighs, scoots over next to him a bit* You're ... You're scared. .. So am I.
Devin: Why?
Warren: It's.. *tries to articulate, still half the time stuck in the whole teenage-macho-don't talk about feelings thing. also because he's Warren*
Warren: ... I can't help being.. what I am. How I feel, how... and maybe that's not enough. Maybe you'll get sick of the uncertainty.
Devin: *stares at him, slightly shocked*
Warren: *suddenly very, very afraid* ... what?
Devin: I'm ... you think I'd go? *almost laughing* god, I'm the most....No. I'm not....I'll stay as long as you want me, until you decide...*shrugs again, laugh turning to something closer to tears*
Warren: Dev... *scared, worried, not all that angry anymore* Dev, I'm... I've. I don't care. Gay, straight. Whatever. Bi. I don't care. *dry/bitter/self-hating* You have to live outside yourself to care about things like that in other people, and I don't. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a pretty selfish person. I don't... it doesn't bother me. That's not what bothers me. Nothing bothers me about you, about this.. not lik ethat.
Warren: And yeah. Sometimes... you know? Sometimes .. it's not like you have the ... the surety of knowing. Sometimes. I just.. I wonder.
Devin: Wonder what? *almost terrified*
Warren: *quietly, looking down, tired* Why you put up with this. With... someone who, obviously, you think could leave you any day now for some pretty girl. *back to bitter and self-hating* The uncertainty, it's gotta kill.
Warren: I mean... *sudden explosion* Why do you even put up with me?
Devin: *quietly* Because I love you.
Warren: *very small smile*
Warren: I love you, too.
Devin: I'd rather be with you, for as long as I have you than not
Warren: *small nod, lightly squeezing his hand* I'm not goign anywhere, Dev.
Devin: *squeezes back, tight and clinging*
Warren: *pulls him into his arms after a second, clinging right back*
Devin: *holds on, shaking a little*
Warren: I'm sorry, babe... I'm soso sorry. *kind of scared, almost crying, holding on tight*
Devin: *holds on to him tight, shaking* You don't need to....
Warren: *actually does start to cry, a couple hot tears* I’m sorry. I shouldn'ta said those stupid things.
Devin: *is crying a little, too, clinging to him* I shouldn't....I just get so scared you'll....that you don't really want.....me...
Warren: No.... *insistant, rocking them both a bit* No no no no... no. No. It's not like that. It's never been like that. *small smile* I'd've been happy figuring out I liked guys better than girls too. That's just.. not the way it turned out.
Devin: *tiniest flinch, but nods*
Warren: *snuffle-giggle* Believe me. I spent like two weeks checking out guys just to see... nothing. It's just you, babe. There's something special about you.
Devin: *wry, half sob* Why can't I just...*shakes his head*
Warren: Why can't you just...?

It hurt more than a little as he struggled to find the words he meant to say. "Why can't I just be happy? I have you, and if...if I'm not...or if you're not...you're still here, at least for now, and..." He swallowed back the tears, or tried to. "It just gets...like I should be smug. I should be all, 'oh, he's not gay, but for me he's willing to overlook that.' Only all I can think about when I let myself think about it, is what that means when the right girl comes along."

Comments

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren kept rocking against him, slow, returning passion for passion and teasing his tongue along the inside of Devin's mouth, sensual, gradual thrusts. Fingertips pressed into his hips for a moment, then slid down, back up the front of his thighs.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin gasped, softly, almost a moan, but not quite yet. His hips arched, returning the pressure. One hand disengaged from Warren's hair only to tangle in the fabric of his shirt, tugging in a different way, trying to free him from the constraints of clothing.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren chuckled, nipping at his lower lip before pulling back enough to wriggle out of his shirt.

Then he took Devin's wrists gently in his, tugged him to his feet sharply enough to pull him against him. His arms wrapped around his waist, hands sliding under his shirt again.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin settled his hands on Warren's hips, just above his waistband, fingers clutching tight at skin. His lips slid to tease over his jaw, his neck, tasting all the things that made him Warren.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's neck arched back on a sigh, a movement all on its own from the sensation of lips and tongue. He had to take a couple breaths before he continued to slowly push up Devin's shirt, hands sliding over his skin.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin didn't want to break the kiss, but he finally did, just to wriggle out of his shirt. Then his tongue was tracing Warren's collarbone again, teasing with little flicks in the valleys and shadows of skin and light.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren sighed a little, fingertips dancing along his spine and teasing with just a little more heat than was usual for a body. Not even a spark, just heat. Heat and the contrasting cold he left behind. Till his fingertips moved from dancing to stroking, over to his sides, down his ribs, resting at his hips.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin whimpered against his skin, and this time he bit as well. He licked at the bite mark, then nipped again, more sharply as the heat flared. He dipped his head lower, tongue curling around one nipple, then the other.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's breath hissed out, his hand slipping through to curl into his hair, stroking down over the back of his neck.

The other hand slipped to his waist and undid the button on his jeans. "Something you want?" he murmured with a wicked smile.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

"Always," Devin murmured back, lips pausing on his skin before continuing to kiss and nibble at his nipple.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren sucked in another breath, petting him, panting a little bit. Words of love were springing to his mouth again, but so was a begging request for Devin to just sink to his knees and suck.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin's fingers teased over his waist, dipping below the waistband, then sliding back up, wriggling against him and his hips arching in a begging motion to be touched.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him tight, rocking against him. Fingertips slipped down between waistband and skin, over his ass, teasing and lightly groping.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin wriggled over his fingers, rocking against them. He gently unsnapped the top button of Warren's jeans, fingernails scraping along the zipper suggestively.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren gasped, grinned against his mouth before kissing him. Hands sliding to his hips, he rocked against his hand a little, then back. "Want you..." slipped out softly.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin smiled and his lips slid lower to caress over Warren's stomach.

"Want you, too."

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren gasped again, made a low sort of murmur in his throat, an almost wet sound as he licked his lips.

"God..."

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin sank to his knees, gazing up at him from under his lashes. He nuzzled at his stomach gently, fingers teasing over his hips. His teeth scraped and he nipped at him a little.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's breath caught, the tip of his tongue slipping out over half-parted lips at the sight of him. Fingertips through his hair and trailing down the line of his jaw.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin turned his head to nip at Warren's fingertips, sucking them gently as he finished undoing his pants, pushed them down. He brushed fingers over the bulge in his boxers, light and teasing as his teeth tried to draw blood from the pads of Warren's fingers.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

The hiss was both of pain and pleasure, and pleasure in the pain. In the sharpness of the pleasure. He felt hot under his skin, too full, wanting Devin's mouth on him as his fingertip traced his lips between little bites.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin captured a finger, sucking it deep into a heated mouth. His tongue swirled around the tip as he looked up at him, watching the play of feeling across his face.

His fingers slipped inside the boxers, stroking over Warren slowly, up and down, then up again.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Something escaped, some kind of whimper that slid into a low moan. His hips shivered, rocked forward a bit.

Just the light touch alone was enough to make him light-headed. Or the tongue and lips and heat of his mouth. Both together was intoxicating enough to make everything fade away but this, Devin all over him.

[killingsoftly.livejournal.com]

Devin continued stroking him, sucking on just that one finger. His other hand circled around Warren's hip and then slid down his leg before creeping back up, dancing around his balls.

[firebugwarren.livejournal.com]

Warren's mouth fell open to gasp, to whimper as his head lolled back. His fingers curled tight in Devin's hair.